Horrible Newspaper Articles Penned By Marcus Hayes

22 May

That’s Howard it’s done

You’ve gotta be fuckin’ kidding me with that one?

And the actual bulk of the article? Hayes wrote as though he were typing up a personal blog post:

Not with the all the fannies he puts in the seats: fannies who pay to park their cars, then drink beer, eat Bull’s BBQ and buy “Ryan Howard” jerseys for themselves, “Chase Utley” jerseys for their daughters.

If Howard wants to cash like A-Rod, Manny and Jeter, then he’d better start producing like them. He needs to start winning games, sometimes by himself.

You know. Like he did last night.

He chose to use the word ‘fannies’ twice. And Marcus wrote ‘you know’ in a professional newspaper that devotes pages upon pages to its overblown sports section. You ain’t writing for Huge Tiny Mistake where I allow this sort of trash writing Mr. Hayes. The Philadelphia Daily News deserves better.

I stopped reading once Mr. Marcus Hayes, world-renowned journalist, wrote this gem:

The Phillies entered last night having lost seven of 13.

So they were 6-7 in the last 15 days or so? SO WHAT?! Is that some outstanding number? Go back to 14 games and they’re 7-7. Cut it short at 12 and they’re 6-6. This is a HUGE cherrypick. It’s just offensive to the intelligence of the reader.

I stopped reading the article, but the new ‘interactive’ Philly.com site allows readers to post comments on EVERYTHING, and that’s where all the fun comes in. Let’s peruse a few thoughts from Philly’s phinest:

Marcus, why to you care what Ryan Howard gets paid? Did he pay you to write this, you fat shill.

I wonder if this guy actually read the same article I did…the one where Hayes wondered aloud about Ryan Howard’s output.

Howard needs to realize that putting the ball in play 80+ (234Ks vs 150Ks) more times a year could win some ball games. Some of those will fall in for hits, others could result in errors. I disagree with Marcus, Howard does not deserve A-Rod or Jeter type money. He is not a good fielder and hitting two homers in a blowout does nothing for me. What did he do yesterday and the day before. The Phils scored 1 run in two games. Those are the games where people who want to make 20+ million a year need to produce. If you were starting a team and had to pick one player from the Phils would you pick Howard or Utley. Me, I would take Utley. I also believe Howard should get a contract similar to Utley’s, but he wants a whole lot more. Unless he changes his game, I am will to say goodbye to Howard after the arbitration years. I remember too many long term contracts that have held back the Phillies.

I would pick Feliz, the man can play some defense unlike that bum Howard. He also puts the ball in play!

John in LA, still living in your mom’s basement, dork?

Valid point. Touche. He’s got you there John in LA.

Wow. Some of you really need to get off his jock. Why so much love for a guy that’s been this awful? He didn’t deserve the big deal yet because it is unclear if he will get better, remain steady, or get worse each year if he can’t adjust. It’s loked like the latter unfortunately. Plus, a guy who K’s 200 times a year is going to be had easily in the post season. When the better pitchers come calling and have been coached to hit his weak spots, he’ll be next to useless in crunch time. Teams that make contact win in the postseason, period. With say, Pujols, who doesn’t K much you know he’ll always be dangerous. With Howard, there’s the lingering worry his slumps like the first 7 weeks of this year will be prolonged. Prove he can overcome, and i’ll be the first to approve a huge deal.

Yes, point out the anomly (Pujols). Why can’t Howard improve on his career 979 OPS? He sucks.

Why do people insist that Howard is a horrible fielder at first…his fielding percentage is .991…which is pretty good last I knew….so he’s not the worst 1st baseman as one person stated….here is some other stats that people tend to forget….Howard is a Power Hitter that has and average of 52 HR’s in two seasons….that is sick….plus in his MVP year he did bat .313. His struggles last year were from an leg injury but he did pick it up at the end….this year maybe the pressure of the money now it seems like he’s coming along, he’s been hitting the ball harder among other things….but people always are quick to annoint Chase as the Man and I love Chase, but last I knew, he strikes out quite often himself….

Whatever. Pussy sez what?

5 Responses to “Horrible Newspaper Articles Penned By Marcus Hayes”

  1. MJS September 10, 2008 at 8:27 pm #

    M. Hayes wields his short sword far beyond his striking range on a regular basis. He’s second only to B. Conlin on the annoyance scale IMHO. I think he ramped it up on DNL when Conlin got the boot too. Sour puss lookin mother fucker! He always has that “GQ” pout look going. Is he trying to look handsome…or did he just taste shit?

  2. sandrar September 10, 2009 at 6:23 pm #

    Hi! I was surfing and found your blog post… nice! I love your blog. :) Cheers! Sandra. R.

  3. humanrace September 30, 2009 at 2:48 pm #

    Sign: efrcm Hello!!! pagnf and 4075zybvuhtsgu and 9905 : Sorry, what did you mean?? A??

  4. Dan October 6, 2010 at 4:26 am #

    He picked the Reds to win…nuff said

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Good Newspaper Articles Penned By Rich Hofmann « I’ve Made a Huge Tiny Mistake - June 19, 2008

    [...] 19, 2008 · No Comments Remember about a month ago when I highlighted a horrible article written by Marcus Hayes about Ryan Howard?  Well, it seems only fair to highlight a good article [...]

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