Charmin, the toilet paper company, tweeted this:
It’s happened before, it’ll happen again; someone checked their online bank account and it stated they had more money than previously thought. Big whoop, right? However, this time’s slightly different:
Delaware County resident Chris Reynolds received just such a shocking delivery from PayPal on Friday, when he opened his monthly statement from the online money-transfer company via email and saw that his ending balance was $92,233,720,368,547,800.
“I’m just feeling like a million bucks,” Reynolds told the Daily News yesterday. “At first I thought that I owed quadrillions. It was quite a big surprise.”
Exciting news! This man now has more than all the money ever created ever in the history of ever! And he’s in our state! Think of the tax revenue:
After absorbing the initial shock, Reynolds logged on to PayPal’s site and saw that his balance was listed there as zero.
Shit. Oh well, fun while it lasted. Also, this could be the first time ‘sad trombone’ has been written in the copy of a newspaper article.
In any event, what would’ve this fine upstanding young man have done with the money? Why, buy the Phillies! (and something about pay off debts):
“I’m a very responsible guy,” he said. “I would pay the national debt down first. Then I would buy the Phillies, if I could get a great price.”
You WILL feel the wrath.
He’s damn good. Here he is dropping by the Egyptian TV show Al Barhnameg (The Program) to discuss his coming movie:
Congressman Steve Stockman’s staff is eatin’ healthy and ‘beating’ the SNAP challenge:
The “SNAP Challenge,” a left-wing publicity stunt intended to make it appear proposed cuts to food stamps would leave families unable to feed themselves, has been debunked this week by the office of Congressman Steve Stockman.
About 30 House Democrats are participating in the “SNAP Challenge” in which someone must feed themselves on $31.50 a week, which Democrats claim is the level of benefits available to a person under the Farm Bill. Democrats have been intentionally buying overpriced food and shopping at high-priced chains to make it appear the cuts go too far.
Donny Ferguson, who serves as Stockman’s communications director and agriculture policy advisor, was able to buy enough food to eat well for a week on just $27.58, almost four dollars less than the $31.50 “SNAP Challenge” figure.
“I wanted to personally experience the effects of the proposed cuts to food stamps. I didn’t plan ahead or buy strategically, I just saw the publicity stunt and made a snap decision to drive down the street and try it myself. I put my money where my mouth is, and the proposed food stamp cuts are still quite filling,” said Ferguson.
“We can cut the proposed benefits by an additional 12.4 percent and still be able to eat for a week,” said Ferguson. “Not only am I feeding myself for less than the SNAP Challenge, I will probably have food left over.”
So how’d he accomplish this feat and debunk the left-wingers? let’s see his grocery list for a week (which i’m sure he followed to a T):
Ferguson purchased his food at the Dollar Tree and Shopper’s Food Warehouse located in the 6100 block of Little River Turnpike in Alexandria. It is served by Metrobus and within bike and walking distance of public housing.
For $21.55 Ferguson purchased at Dollar Tree:
Two boxes of Honeycomb cereal
Three cans of red beans and rice
Jar of peanut butter
Bottle of grape jelly
Loaf of whole wheat bread
Two cans of refried beans
Box of spaghetti
Large can of pasta sauce
Two liters of root beer
Large box of popsicles
24 servings of Wyler’s fruit drink mix
Eight cups of applesauce
Bag of pinto beans
Bag of rice
Bag of cookies
For $6.03 at the Shoppers Food Warehouse next door Ferguson bought a gallon of milk and a box of maple and brown sugar oatmeal.
real health nut, there. no meat, no veggies, no fruit, lots of sugar and useless junk and non-food like soda. where is ptk when we need him? we could dispatch him to Stocky and Ferguson to teach them how to eat nutritionally. also, maybe we shouldn’t be cutting funding for SNAP if THIS is what he could afford, and is bragging about it. and maybe we shouldn’t be cutting the educational portion of the Ag bill, like the House wanted to.
Hope this Mel Brooks guy made something of himself. Seems like quite the talent.