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Bill On Indiana Governor’s Desk Would Allow Guns In Elementary School Parking Lots

14 Mar

For your consideration:

Indiana lawmakers approved a controversial bill late Thursday to allow guns in parked cars on school property, despite objections from school groups and gun reform advocates.

The measure, supported by the powerful National Rifle Association, cleared the Senate on a 38-10 vote. The House followed suit, voting 75-24 and sending the measure to Gov. Mike Pence for consideration

The votes on Senate Bill 229 followed floor debates between lawmakers who wanted to protect the gun rights of licensed permit holders and those who felt the measure would lead to more access to guns and possibly more violence.

Sen. Jim Tomes, R-Wadesville, bill author, said the measure allows people who can legally possess firearms to have their guns on school property only if concealed in locked cars on parking lots.

It doesn’t allow guns in the schools, buildings, school buses or at any functions where there are students present on school grounds, he said.

But the bill would allow teachers, parents, schools visitors and high school students who are members of gun clubs to have guns locked in their cars in school parking lots. Student gun club members would have to receive permission from school principals.

Let me get this straight. Guns will now potentially be in the parking lots of schools. What problems does this law propose to fix?

“Teachers have to leave their 2nd Amendment rights at the front door when they go to work,” said Steele.

And students leave their 1st amendment rights at the front door when they got to school, too. They’d also be leaving their 2nd amendment rights at the door under this bill, too. In the event of a school shooting, a teacher or school staff member would theoretically realize a shooting is occurring, slip past the shooter(s), go to their locked car, lock and load, return, and enact pure American justice.

Seems like a likely story.

The Reading Eagle Letter To The Editor That Made Me Speechless

24 Feb
Obviously only God knew what the 6 million Jews in Nazi death camps were praying for (“Consider a story on prayer efficacy,” Reading Eagle, Feb. 18).
Perhaps they were praying for an eternal life with God and Jesus Christ, and their prayers were answered.
Rich Reinhart Jr.
Perry Township

Edward Snowden Has A Fucking Action Figure

21 Feb

No comment.


Smoking Can Kill, Especially Near An Oxygen Tank

10 Feb
Can’t give ‘em up:
CUMRU TWP, Pa. – Authorities in Berks County say an elderly woman who was hurt in a fire was trying to light a cigarette while on oxygen.
The blaze destroyed the house in the 100 block of Gerald Avenue in Cumru Township.
The woman was hospitalized after a neighbor helped rescue her from the fire.
At last check she was listed in good condition.
The home is a total loss.
No word on her brand.

Lousiana Woman Asks Councilman If He Has The Stones To Stone Her

21 Jan

Here’s a lady who is a boss, and I wish I could be as slick as this:

The Shreveport, La., city council in December voted to approve an anti-discrimination ordinance to protect residents from discrimination based on their sexual and gender identity.

The lone dissenting voice on the measure was that of right-wing councilman, Ron Webb. At the time of the vote, Webb said he opposed the measure because, “The Bible tells you homosexuals are an abomination.”

The ordinance passed with a 6-to-1 vote, but Webb wasted little time before introducing a resolution to repeal it.

The residents of Shreveport — most of whom supported the ordinance — came out this week to comment on the repeal. Pamela Raintree was one among dozens of community members to address the council, and her testimony was a passionate and scathing indictment of Webb’s ignorance and bigotry.

Raintree, who is a transgender woman, held a stone as she read aloud from the Bible, telling Webb, “Leviticus 20:13 states, ‘If a man also lie with mankind as he lieth with a woman, they shall surely put him to death. I brought the first stone, Mr. Webb, in case that your Bible talk isn’t just a smoke screen for personal prejudices.”

Well, surely after being presented with the Biblical phrase, he’d stand up, take the stone and smash her face in:

Moments after Raintree’s testimony, Webb withdrew his resolution without calling for a vote. The ordinance protecting LGBTQ residents from discrimination in housing, employment and public accommodations remains in effect.

OH SNAP! Or he’ll slink away like the little coward he is, while Raintree stands triumphant over the metaphorical corpse of his bigoted bill! Score one for equality.

Kentucky Legislator Accidentally Fires Gun In Capitol, Declares ‘It Happens’

9 Jan

Not an onion article:

LOUISVILLE, Ky (WHAS11) — Kentucky Representative Leslie Combs (D-Pikeville) accidentally fired her handgun in her Capitol Annex office Tuesday, the eastern Kentucky lawmaker confirmed on Wednesday. No injuries were reported.

“I obviously was stunned,” Combs said. “That’s a first.”

Yes, stunning.

The three term representative said her Ruger semi-automatic handgun accidentally fired as she unloaded it while meeting with Representative Jeff Greer (D-Brandenburg).

“I was purposefully disarming it to put it up because I didn’t like it and didn’t want to use it anymore,” Combs explained that she was planning on selling the gun.

“Why at that particular moment? I kind of had it on my brain. I had it in my purse,” Combs said. “I carried it usually, and I thought I want to put that sucker away. And I did. And I was going through the process as I have been trained to do, had it pointed in the proper direction like I’ve been trained, was disarming it like Ive been trained to do, and …like I said I am a gun owner …. it happens.”

It happens. It happens. IT. HAPPENS. This person is a state legislator who states she was trained to handle a firearm. IT DOES NOT USUALLY FUCKING HAPPEN!

Combs said the incident had not prompted her to reconsider whether she would be armed at the Capitol.

“I am a gun owner,” Combs said. “I support the right to bear arms. As a female, particularly for protection rights, I feel the need to carry a firearm not only because I travel here a lot of times but a lot of times at night to Lexington, but in the eastern Kentucky region, it is normal to have that.”

“I go into a lot of areas where I’d feel I need the protection,” Combs told WHAS11. “And I usually always have a firearm on me. But obviously there’s a need for, I will be the first proponent for gun safety at the same time I am also a proponent and support people being able to carry weapons properly and with a concealed carry permit.”

Areas such as the capitol before the State of State address by the governor?

At least some lawmakers have some common sense:

Stumbo recalled that subsequent governors have not reissued an executive order banning guns from the Capitol after it expired when Gov. Paul Patton left office in 2003.

But it is a concern to some lawmakers. Louisville representative Mary Lou Marzian tried to prohibit guns at the capitol several years ago and said the issue should be reconsidered.

“I think we need to look at whether or not we’re going to allow guns around here,” Marzian said. “I think we really have to look at safety, the volatility of a weapon that could go off and really injure somebody.”

That’s entirely too rational. Time for an irrational view from the very person who fired the gun inside the capitol:

Combs is sticking by her Second Amendment rights, and was already planning to replace her gun.

It’s an automatic,” Combs said. “I need to stick with revolvers.”

Nah, I suggest upgrading to fully automatic! No half measures.

Ending The Year With The Dumbest Letter to the Editor Of The Year

31 Dec

The Reading Eagle tends to print any ol’ letter sent into its offices. This year was no exception, from racism to misogyny to political screeds, they print them all. They decided to top themselves to cap off 2013, printing a letter from Betty Jane Lillis. It must be read to be believed:

In response to Adam Wayne’s letter (“God could act in his own time,” Reading Eagle, Dec. 25):

We surely didn’t evolve from apes. How does an ape transform over time to look human?

People are in denial that there is a God and that the Bible is true and accurate. This also falls into the same concept people have about how a person chooses his way of life and makes biblical reference look like an attack.

We are in the era in which people do not want to accept what is in the Bible because it doesn’t give them the freedom to do what God did not intend for his creations to do.

What’s next? Give child molesters rights to offend little ones because they can’t control themselves? Give people the right to steal from another because the victim should share what he has?

People are in denial because to accept the truth means they have to abide by the law of God.

Betty Jane Lillis
Lower Heidelberg Township

Step back from your tablet or computer. Let this sink in. Evolution isn’t real because wtf, how could it be? People are in denial there is a god because they want to live their lives the way they do. If we don’t live by her view of the bible, child molesters will be allowed to ‘offend little ones’. This one has it all, folks.

Have a great 2014, and remember that you’re a piece of shit who needs to follow the bible. Man, do anti-evolutionist live a fun life.

Terrific Speech By President Obama On Trayvon Martin Shooting

19 Jul

Simply stirring.

Hey Missouri Synods: You’re Doing It Wrong

8 Feb

Well now:

The Rev. Rob Morris, pastor of Christ the King Lutheran Church, prayed at the vigil the Sunday following the Dec. 14 shootings alongside other Christian, Muslim, Jewish and Baha’i clergy.

Morris’ church is a member of the Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod, and the denomination’s constitution prohibits ministers from participating in services with members of different faiths.

It’s not the first time a Missouri Synod pastor has been reprimanded for joining an interfaith prayer service; a New York pastor also was suspended for participating in an interfaith service after the 9/11 terrorist attacks.

LCMS president Matthew Harrison wrote in a letter to the Synod that “the presence of prayers and religious readings” made the Newtown vigil joint worship, and therefore off-limits to Missouri Synod ministers. Harrison said Morris’ participation also offended members of the denomination.

“After consultation with my supervisors and others, I made my own decision,” Morris wrote in his apology letter. “I believed my participation to be, not an act of joint worship, but an act of community chaplaincy.”

Pretty safe to say you’re a bunch of pricks.

Pathetic, Petty People Purposely Prevent Populace Pooling

31 Oct

Because they don’t know what they’d classify it as:

The municipalities have met three times since August with the Pennsylvania Economy League to study the issue. At a meeting last week, the Lower Alsace supervisors said they would prefer remaining a second-class township, while Mount Penn officials said they would prefer remaining a borough, although Councilwoman Claudia Hurwitz said Tuesday the borough was open to other options.

So two towns containing 7,500 people, already share fire, police and school services, can’t put pointless designations to the side before even AGREEING TO STUDY IT:

The two sides were scheduled to make a decision about continuing the study at the end of the year, after the economy league put together a sample budget showing how a merger would affect tax rates, services and spending.

But the study will not get to that point.

“I think we should just end it now,” Councilman James Cocuzza said.

Morons. Borough or township? Township or borough? IT’S TOO DIFFICULT, LET’S QUIT!

Lucasfilms Bought By Disney

30 Oct

= More Star Wars movies

Walking While Black Or Latino In NYC, AKA Stop-And-Frisk

12 Oct

Donate To Hatian Relief ASAP

13 Jan
Everyone on here can afford to give 5 or 10 bucks, maybe more. This is going to be people in immediate need for food, water, first aid and shelter. PLEASE take the time to click this. Thanks and let every one of your family and friends know about these options.

  • Text the word “Yele” to 501501 to donate $5 to the Yéle Foundation, the leading contributor to rebuilding Haiti founded by Wyclef Jean.
  • Text the word “Haiti” to 25383 to donate $5 to the International Rescue Committee
  • Text the word “Haiti” to 85944 to donate $5 to the Rescue Union Mission and MedCorp International
  • Text the word “Haiti” to 90999 to donate $10 to the American Red Cross.
  • Text the word “Haiti” to 45678 (In Canada Only) to assist the Salvation Army in Canada.

Read more:

Joe Cada Is Your 2009 WSOP Champion

10 Nov

Congratulations go out to the youngest champion of all-time, Joe Cada.  At 21 years old, he played aggressively at the final table, at times perhaps recklessly.  He put his chips in the middle and ended up with the lesser hand several times, and yet once the river came he was the victor every single time.  He dealt bad beats to several players, especially Frenchman Antoine Saout when they were three-handed, and just saw everything go his way.  He won coinflips, he came back from the brink of defeat when there were nine players remaining, when there were six players remaining, and then when logger Darvin Moon (yes, a logger) almost overwhelmed him heads up.

Cada’s win proves several things.  It proves his own self-worth.  It proves that sometimes luck conquers all…and it proves that nice guys can get rewarded. Rewarded with 8.55 million dollars, that is.  While Phil Ivey may get a ton of the coverage tonight, Cada will get the cash.

Ivey, for his efforts, played very well under the circumstances.  If an allin with Cada which turned out to be a coinflip went his way instead of Cada’s, he’s have had almost 25 million in chips nine-handed and Cada would’ve been gone.  This is tournament poker, where luck tends to decide what happens after skill exits the door.  Instead, Ivey lost that flip and became short-stacked, forced to slowly grind his way back up gathering one blind after another orbit after orbit.  He accomplished that and then lost AK allin against Moon’s AQ.  Such is poker, where the best player often doesn’t win.  No worries for Ivey though, as he almost instantly jumped into the high-stakes on Full Tilt Poker.  Poker fans may not get their Ivey victory, but they’ll enjoy it while he lasts.  The man can console himself with the two other bracelets he won this year and the millions and millions of dollars already in his bank accounts.

Watch tonight on ESPN.

Arizona Wants You To Have The Right To Conceal Your Gun In A Bar

29 Jun

Yeehah, I’m a get me to Arizony:

But a bill moving through the Arizona Legislature has some bar owners fearful that the state is turning back the clock to the Old West. Lawmakers are considering a bill that would allow anyone with a concealed-weapons permit to bring a handgun into bars and restaurants serving alcohol.

The bill gives bars discretion to keep gun-toting patrons out, and anyone with a weapon would not be allowed to drink. But the bill has angered bar owners who believe booze and guns are a recipe for disaster.

So, it’s not like any bar worth going to is ACTUALLY going to enact such a policy, but the fact that this is being debated in the legislature is insane! Still, who the heck would push for an idiotic law like this?

The bill is part of a nationwide push by the National Rifle Association. Georgia passed a similar law in 2008, as did Tennessee earlier this year in becoming the 40th state to allow bar or restaurant patrons to carry guns.

“These laws are common sense,” said NRA spokeswoman Rachel Parsons. “Restaurants are not immune to criminal activity. Law-abiding people — regardless of whether they’re in restaurants, cars or homes — they should be able to protect themselves against criminal attack.”

Ohhhh, I see.  It’s about expanding some here-to-for unknown ‘right’ of gun ownership.  Without this, they’ll be taking our guns!  We’d be completely helpless should criminal activity go down at Chickie’s and Pete’s. If only there was some sort of policing type force we could call to assist us should something arise, but, alas, there is none!

One of the bill’s sponsors, Republican Rep. John Kavanagh, said it’s about time Arizona passes such a law, and that the most important thing is that people carrying guns into bars aren’t allowed to drink.

“You don’t want intoxicated people with weapons, and this bill continues the prohibition against drinking and carrying,” said Kavanagh, a retired police officer in New York and New Jersey. “What is the problem with having a gun in a delicatessen where someone is having a beer with their pastrami two tables away?”

Uhm, how about because it freaks me the hell out?  Because we’ve seen that guns do, you know, kill people?  But hey, only responsible citizens would have access to this lil’ law:

The law would only apply to people with concealed-weapons permits because lawmakers say that type of gun owner has to pass a background check and take an eight-hour course to get their permits, and are therefore safer. More than 127,000 Arizonans have concealed-weapons permits, according to the Arizona Department of Public Safety.

Yay! EIGHT HOURS!!! That’s almost one-fifth of the amount we require a person to take to be able to use a death trap on wheels, er car.  That certainly seems fair and reasonable.  OK guys, I’m for it.  Let’s bring this law to the Northeast, except let’s require a gun to enter a bar.  ONLY PATRONS WITH GUNS MAY ENTER!  That way we’ll all be safer!  But none of them can drink.  Them’s the rules.


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