Smarmy, elitist comments about the top 20 shows of the week ending December 24th, link courtesy of TVSquad.
1. NFL Post-Game Show (CBS) SPORTS
OK, I watch football, and I like sports. So do a lot of other people. I can understand his being tops for the week.
2. Deal Or No Deal (NBC) GAME SHOW
My brain hurts looking at this spot. Deal or No Deal is just lazy, lazy, lazy. 5th grade education not necessary for viewing.
3. CSI (CBS) CRIME PROCEDURAL
The old standby in the Neilson ratings, CSI continues to have the same crime repeated over and over with different characters to great success.
4. Identity – Mon (NBC) GAME SHOW
Another game show, this one is hosted by Penn Jillette, which is almost enough to make me forget I’m watching a freaking game show. Almost.
5. CSI: Miami (CBS) CRIME PROCEDURAL
This show stars David Caruso. Need I go further?
6. CSI: NY (CBS) CRIME PROCEDURAL
Another CSI…this one starring Who Knows and Who Cares.
7. NCIS (CBS) CRIME PROCEDURAL
Here’s CSI with the initials mixed up.
8. 60 Minutes (CBS) NEWS
Old people talk about the week’s events and new-fangled fads like the internet.
9. Two and a Half Men (CBS) SITUATION COMEDY
It’s your standard situation comedy, complete with a wisecracking cleaning lady. Thing is, it actually breaks the mold by being funny. Imagine that. Humor in a comedy. Charlie Sheen steals the show.
10. Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer (CBS)CHRISTMAS
I hardly have a comment on this one-time event, except to say that I remember watching it as a youngster and wondering why Rudolph couldn’t just cover his nose up a little bit? And was this a metaphor for a big pimple on your nose?
11. Shark (CBS) LAW PROCEDURAL
James Woods plays James Woods. It’s what he does best.
12. Criminal Minds (CBS) CRIME PROCEDURAL
Blah Blah Blah, insert procedurals suck because ___________
13. House (FOX) MEDICAL DRAMA/PROCEDURAL
Good show, good cast, great lead. Quality stuff, and the best procedural out there, by far. But that’s a bit like tallest dwarf, isn’t it?
14. Identity – Thurs (FOX) GAME SHOW
People like to watch the same show several days a week, apparently.
15. Grey’s Anatomy (ABC) MEDICAL DRAMA
Soap opera bullshit. Doctor McDreamy and crew McSuck.
16. Charlie Brown: I Want A Dog For Christmas (CBS) CHRISTMAS
Charlie Brown is always alright, but this is nothing special.
17. Identity – Weds (NBC) GAME SHOW
Jesus Christ, CHANGE THE CHANNEL ONCE OR TWICE, AMERICA!
18. Dateline – Weds (NBC) NEWS
People like to watch pedophiles get caught and berated by a guy who looks like a pedophile.
19. The Unit (CBS) ACTION/CRIME OF THE WEEK
This is just there. Just there. It fills time and space.
20. Law and Order: SVU (NBC) LAW PROCEDURAL
Law and Order isn’t as popular as it used to be, that’s for damn sure. Maybe because it’s the same shit over and over again, with the expected unexpected twist coming 51 minutes into every single episode.
So, six shows dealing with crime, eight procedurals with no arcing storylines, and four game shows are in the top 20. 4 of the top 7 were crime procedurals (what a combo). Take from this what you will, but I frankly see that we are an impatient society that enjoys instant gratification and hurried storylines and solutions. Look at the brewing outrage over the lack of ‘answers’ for LOST, as though that will actually satisfy anyone. What will ensue will be bickering over how the answers suck in various ways. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that shows with real storylines and arcing plots tend to win over critics and those who watch TV for a living or semi-living. For the most part, they’re just smarter, wittier, and better.