I don’t know how I missed this piece of news when it first came around. Seems Flint, Michigan, home to a major crime problem, has decided that the biggest problem afflicting the fine citizens of Flint are hooligans wearing their pants too low. Seriously. No, really. The acting police chief apparently just started ordering his police officers to START ARRESTING PEOPLE FOR WEARING THEIR PANTS TOO LOW:
In an interview last week with the Free Press, Dicks said wearing pants below the waist is a crime — a violation of the city’s disorderly conduct ordinance — and can give police probable cause to search saggers for other crimes, such as weapon or drug possession.
Individuals would be subject to searches and punishment of up to 93 days in jail and a $500 fine.
Any irony that the chief’s last name is Dicks? Maybe he’s just jealous.
Let’s say you are walking down the street in Flint and start to wonder about whether your carpenters be creeping too far down your backside. How low is too low, you may ask. The police department has provided this handy graphic to show you to what degree you are destroying society as we know it:
Priceless. I hope the police expand this policy to untied shoelaces, hairy men wearing tank tops, and obese women trying to squeeze into hip hugger jeans.