Our main man Stephen Colbert recently won an online poll to name NASA’s newest part of the International Space Station, winning out over several other ridiclous and stupid names. However, NASA decided it was too good for Mr. Colbert:
Appearing on Comedy Central‘s “The Colbert Report“, the late night satirical news show hosted by Colbert, astronaut Sunita “Suni” Williams broke the news that the space agency would not be naming the new Node 3 module after the comedian. Instead, the space agency gave him the consolatory honor as the namesake for the International Space Station‘s (ISS) upgraded treadmill.
“We’ve decided that the Node 3 will be called ‘Tranquility,'” Williams told a shocked-looking Colbert as the audience booed in protest.
“Wait a second!” Colbert exclaimed. “I was assured that my name would be in space. Are you saying that NASA’s going back on that?”
You bastards! Though this will likely be the greatest treadmill ever made, he won the online poll fair and square. He, like the other names of Serenity, Legacy, Earthrise, and Venture, pimped it out on a nightly basis on a cable television program. They should respect that.
In any event, they’re naming it Tranquility. Apparently it’s some kind of dumbass nod to some pointless history about the stupid moon landing 40 years ago. Screw that jazz, we’re living in the NOW, baby.