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Thanks For a Great Career, Jimmy Rollins

10 Dec


Loved watching you play, from AA Reading even through last year’s horrible team.  Three all-star appearances, one MVP award, and a World Series later and here’s to you finishing your career well with the LA Dodgers.  GO PHILLIES and GO JIMMY

Thanks for the memories.

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My Reason To Exist, Chris Wheeler, ‘Steps Down’

8 Jan

They let the wrong man go. Chris Wheeler, 37-year veteran of the Philadelphia Phillies broadcasts, took a step back from the mic and ‘stepped down’ today. Gary ‘Sarge’ Matthews also was given the unceremonious boot. ‘Tis a sad day for unintentional comedy fans. At first, this blog hated Chris Wheeler. We marveled at his oft repeated phrasesand wondered how bad Sarge would be. But, time came and went, the Phillies won the World Series, and our cold, black hearts melted a little for ol’ Chris. He danced for joy. He loved him some Phillies. He was a fan that got lucky enough to get paid to broadcast for his favorite team. He’ll never be mistaken for a great broadcaster, and will eventually be forgotten by most of the fan base, but he was a great fan. He had fun out there. And there isn’t much more this blog can ask for someone.

Godspeed, Wheels.

And fuck you Tom McCarthy.

Paypal’s Equivalent of a VOID Slot Machine Win Hits A Delco Man

21 Jul

It’s happened before, it’ll happen again; someone checked their online bank account and it stated they had more money than previously thought. Big whoop, right? However, this time’s slightly different:

Delaware County resident Chris Reynolds received just such a shocking delivery from PayPal on Friday, when he opened his monthly statement from the online money-transfer company via email and saw that his ending balance was $92,233,720,368,547,800.

“I’m just feeling like a million bucks,” Reynolds told the Daily News yesterday. “At first I thought that I owed quadrillions. It was quite a big surprise.”

Exciting news! This man now has more than all the money ever created ever in the history of ever! And he’s in our state! Think of the tax revenue:

After absorbing the initial shock, Reynolds logged on to PayPal’s site and saw that his balance was listed there as zero.

Sad trombone.

Shit. Oh well, fun while it lasted. Also, this could be the first time ‘sad trombone’ has been written in the copy of a newspaper article.

In any event, what would’ve this fine upstanding young man have done with the money? Why, buy the Phillies! (and something about pay off debts):

“I’m a very responsible guy,” he said. “I would pay the national debt down first. Then I would buy the Phillies, if I could get a great price.”

Jim Murphy And His Tom Selleck

22 Apr

While perusing the Phillies blogs this morn, I came upon Phoulballz’s writeup of Jim Murphy, currently at AA Reading (Fightin’ Ostriches version). An admirable and informative piece, the best part, however, was the accompanying photo:

Eat your heart out, ladies.

Cole Hamels, 1, The Phanatic, And A Mustache Fire Hot Dogs At A Baseball Game

30 Mar

that ol’ joke


Jayson’s Werth’s Beard Is Better Than You

22 Feb


I bow to your greatness, sir.

Pedro Has You Where He Wants You

4 Nov

Jheri Curl Power!